Monday, September 29, 2014

Forgetting who you are

I'm thinking about Paris Fashion Week since it is now going on again in Paris.
When I was there going to shows in Paris, all I can remember was, "I made this happen. I made my own luck." I had connected with a photographer named Charly, who is the nicest, funniest and most genuine Parisian I had met during my entire trip and he offered to take me to some of the shows. As I look back on my luck and all my adventures, all I can think about is...
"Why don't I do those types of things here? Why can't I make my own adventures here in America?" 
We've all seen movies about how going to a different place changes you into the person who you really want to be and I think I am just now realizing that the person while I was in Paris is who i'd like to be again. It's easy to fall back into habit when you go back to your roots, but I think the more important thing is to let whatever changed you on your adventure stay. But that is also the hardest part. You can't be convinced that because you're back doing the same old things, in the same old place, doing the routine day-by-day activities that a day isn't an adventure. 
I have always been bound by some kind of obligation. I'm not saying it was always a bad thing, but high school it was always cheerleading, being watched like a hawk, being told what to do. Being on someone else's schedule... and now college being in a sorority. 
The semester I spent abroad, I was on nobody else's time but my own (minus classes - - that I actually wanted to attend because I ENJOYED THEM.) Now I think about this more than I'd like to admit, but isn't that happiness? Is that what I found? Sure, I was lonely sometimes there, but it was because I was there for such a short period of time. Nobody stays alone forever that is the best part of life, making new friends, enjoying an espresso with someone sitting next to you at a café. 
I want to be that adventurous person I was. I want to be my own person, instead of pretending to try to fit into something i'm not half the time & I wonder why i'm just now realizing it.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for your thoughts, I read every comment!